The Horrible 00's

The Best Horror Films of the 2000s - The Thrilling 8th Circle of Our Ongoing Series From Hell

Drag Me To Hell (c) 2009 Universal Pictures, Ghost House Pictures, Buckaroo Entertainment


I might as well get it over with. I've postponed making some of my best-of the 2000s lists because they are hard. Some genres haven't really created enough memorable pieces of cinema in a whole decade (that I've seen anyway) for a top 10 list. These include action and musicals. I'm worried about the current state of these genres. Most of all, I've been worried about the development of horror. Most of the new horror movies seem to be tedious remakes, unintentionally silly straight-to-DVD stuff.

Actually I had a version of this list published in my other, finnish blog as early as July, 2009. This one is mostly the same list, but with a few changes here and there. As it turns out, there were plenty of horror movies that merit a spot on the top 10. It's just the American horror films that are in trouble, not, for instance, the European ones. Some of the films on this list were films that I hated at first, but came to change my mind.

There still seems to be a nice amount of interesting material to be seen in this genre. Who knows, maybe a year from now, I'll make a sequel. Perhaps this series could appear every Halloween and never stop like the fucking Saw series.

28 Days Later... (2002)

Director: Danny Boyle

The zombie genre gets real innovators very rarely. The first major one since Dawn of the Dead (1978) and Return of the Living Dead (1985) came from Great Britain and created a big pack of lackluster carbon-copies. The oft-copied imagery of the deserted streets of London and the fast-running zombies have popped up in movies since this to boredom. But in Boyle's innovative direction the soon-to-be-cliches work here as well as the virus does on slow people. However, the film wouldn't be anything if the main characters weren't likeable, so that one can care about how they will survive. The sequel has a few great scenes, but mostly it's disappointing.

The Descent (2005)

Director: Neil Marshall

This story about women getting trapped underground works as a horror story addressing such themes as claustrophobia, the fear of the unknown, and the breaking point of one's mind. The setting inside a cave wasn't overused before the film (althogh a number of similar films were released at the same time for some reason...). In the end there's maybe a bit too much shown from the monsters, but the shocking conclusion (of the European cut at least) is more than enough to fix this minr problem. One of the best of the best.

The Devil's Backbone (2001)

Director: Guillermo del Toro

Not all horror should be a total gorefest. Guillermo Del Toro always does better films when working in Spanish and this ghost story with a thick athmosphere one may be his best picture yet. Del Toro uses the Spanish civil war as a backdrop for horrible happenings that don't need to rely in ghosts and other supernatural phenomena. It's much more reasonable to fear people than it is to fear the unknown. The child actors in the film are utilized to create a tension as things are harder to accomplish when you're strong and to create certain innocence which is threatened by violence. The director balances all these ingredients just right.

Drag Me To Hell (2009)

Director: Sam Raimi

Groovy. After dabbling with Spider-Man stories for a while, the homecoming of the Evil Dead -era sam Raimi is more than welcome. The comeback is a fun ride, filled with black humour and suitably disgusting details. The dynamic camerawork isn't quite on par with ED but close enough. Kudos also for the film for making a bank employee suffer at the time when everyone would've sent al the bankers of the world to a fiery hell.

Grindhouse (2007)

Directors: Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarantino

Say what you will, the two seperate films of Grindhouse NEED to be seen together. Even though they are completely diffirent in style, athmosphere, seriousness and general awesomeness. Planet Terror features more playing around with the concept and parodying action movies with actually a handful of zombies thrown in. Death Proof is more talky and has a troubled narrative, but Tarantino's script isn't as bad as some people say, and it does contain one of the coolest car chases in history. In fact, both of them are quite close to being action films instead of horror, but I'll let that slip this once. The film's initial idea was perhaps my favorite one of the whole decade. I totally support the point wanting to go back to the cinemas of yesteryear and have some fun with that. How's that high-concept for ya?! The plan works beautifully, with fake trailers and old advertisement clips. This one is more about having fun, than being actually scary or deep, but part of the reasons we love cinema is because of this kind of creative funness, right?

High Tension (Haute Tension)

Director: Alexandre Aja (2004)

Alexander Aja went on to become a go-to guy for making unncessary remakes, although his ones are some of the better ones. Also I'm pretty sure that Piranha 3D will be on my top 10 of this year.

But he truly showed off his talents here with a suitably dark film cementing the ground layer of the French Extremist Horror wave. The tension runs high and the violence is rough as one woman tries to escape a superstrong, unseen assailant and also tries to save her friend from the creature. The incredibly moronic ending almost spoils the film and I'm glad the film has a better english name nowadays than the old one which referred just to this ending. But one can always stop watching the film 20 minutes before the end, for otherwise this is a great piece of work.

Let The Right One In (Låt den rätte komma in, 2008)

Director: Tomas Alfredsson

You might remember this from my list of the best vampire flicks a short while ago. If Roy Andersson directed a vampire movie, this would resemble the result. The swedish show the world yet again how to make a great and gripping genre movie that still maintains the national melancholy and filmmaking style. A 12-year-old bullied child befriends a girl bloodsucker at the dawn of his puberty. Without vampires, this could be just another episode of Eva & Adam. There's also a bit too much about the sub-plots that do go deeper in the film's mythology, but don't exactly serve the main story. But beneath the plot there is a subtex of the living hell that is living in a swedish suburbs. I also like that like Guillermo Del Toro's films, the supernatural can be seen as a defense mecahnism against the true evil of the world. But this makes the ending even more open for debate.

Martyrs (2008)

Director: Pascal Laugier

Initially I hated this film, but it deserves to be on this list sheerly because it creates a fucking agonising athmosphere that runs all the way through the film. I must have forgotten that horror films should be scary, hard to watch and distressing. This film makes even the most accustomed gorehounds squirm in their seats. It is intensly memorable, and questions why people watch violent films in the first place better than any Haneke film ever could. But unlike, say Inside, there is a reason for all the sickness in this, and it serves BOTH the story and the athmosphere.

The Orphanage (El Orfanato, 2007)

Director: Juan Antonio Bayona

Another piece of Spanish greatness. An example of how a good director and the correct mood can make a good movie out of even the most used-up ideas like a haunted house. The story about killed children and haunted houses maintains its core mystery to the end and manages to be emotionally crushing to boot. Not to mention audiovisually inventive.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Director: Edgar Wright

This is both a very funny comedy and a very good zombie horror film at the same time. Thus, it is clearly the best comedy-horror film of the recent years. Much like Evil Dead II, people keep forgetting that the film has also scary parts in it. The lovable comedic characters die in the film, and the viewer keeps worrying about them, and have sad moments when they die, so it is not a pure laugh fest. There's excitement here very few horror films manage to create. Even though the zombie part of the film is largely indebted George A. Romero's films, SOTD has more fresh ideas in its relatively short running time than Romero himself had in the whole decade. (I refuse to accept he has directed anything after Land of the Dead - an underrated but still underwhelming film).

Vampires can be cool, too

The Monster Chronicles, Part One

Halloween is just around the corner, and I thought of starting a new tradition and blogging about certain horror movie sub-genres each year. And I'll begin with vampires, as they are a sort of corner stone of cinematic monsters.

At first I thought of doing a sort of top ten list of best vampire movies, but seeing as I've got enough to watch already to have a list of the Best Horror movies of the 2000s ready by sunday, I scrapped the idea. I can do a hasty list here but won't comment too much about it. It would look something like this:

10. Blade (Stephen Norrington, 1998)
9. Fearless Vampire Killers (Roman Polanski, 1967)
8. Lost Boys (Joel Schumacher, 1987)
7. Let The Right One In (Låt den rätte komma in, Tomas Alfredson, 2008)
6. Near Dark (Kathryn Bigelow, 1987)
5. Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust (Yoshiaki Kawajiri, Jack Fletcher, Tai Kit Mak, 2000)
4. Thirst (Bakjwi, Park Chan-Wook, 2009)
3. Martin (George A. Romero, 1977)
2. Dracula: The Prince of Darkness (Terence Fisher, 1966)
1. Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des grauens (F.W. Murnau, 1922)


Actually, I usually don't like vampire films that much. Part of the problem is that the genre has started so early, at the age of silent films. Thus, there is so much re-imagining, parodies and post-modernism it has made the subgenre stale and uninteresting.

In today's flood of vampire-related entertainment, vampires are more often seen as human beings with allegorial problems, mainly their unrelenting bloodlust. This bloodlust can represent anything, but more usually it is some kind of metaphor for aggressive sexuality, that is supposed to be kept smothered. This culminates in the fucking Twilight Saga, which as made the once noble, but horrifying creatures of the night into personality-free emo-boys that glitter in the sunlight. Zombies may be even more over-exposed in pop culture, but at least they still kill people.

Vampires have always been deeply sexual beings, which makes it a shame that they don't use their full potential as lethal love-makers any more. Twilight is nowhere near an original story, as most of this kind of vampire fiction tends to focus on a love story between a human and a vampire. This has been more or less emphasized according to the times. For instance, in Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula (1992) the otherwise pretty straight adaptation of Bram Stoker's book differs the most from the source material when it's giving emphasis to Dracula's relationship with his victim Mina Harker. The relationship is shown to be some kind of undying love that lasts over multiple lifetimes.

I vaant to loove youu foreeveer. Bleh!

The problem with this sexually tensional love story is that the vampire becomes too romanic a character. Bela Lugosi's Dracula may have an unequalled romantic charm, but that doesn't change the fact that the film Dracula (1931) is an almost comically theatrical one. A vampire should not be cuddly but in addition to sexual, also otherworldly, cold and a merciless creature. In my opinion, no one else has quite got the idea as good as Christopher Lee, the perfect cinematic Dracula.

He may charm you, but could also very easily destroy you.

As you can see from the list, I have actually liked some re-imaginings of vampires that are deeply tied to the point where they were made. I like the late-90's leathercoat version of Blade precisely because it seems ludicrously old-fashioned today. Some motherfuckers always try to ice-skate up the hill. Maybe today's vampire hits such as 30 Days of Night (which for a change actually had a mystery surrounding the vampires) will seem equally silly in the coming decades.

Kathryn Bigelow's cult classic Near Dark (1987) should be a measuring stone for today's vampire films. For Bigelow knew exactly what works in the genre. There is a certain allure to the vampiric lifestyle, but as the creatures are bloodthirsty monsters, who will kill just for kicks, it is also a very frightening prospect. That creates a better tension for the sexual relations than having eternal abstinence.

Nevertheless, the film is so very 80's by today's standards. Bill Paxton's vampire punk is still cool, though, and worked as a clear model for one of comic book's best vampires, Garth Ennis' and Steve Dillon's Preacher's Cassidy.


But the best vampire performance ever will never seem out-dated. F.W: Murnau's silent classic Nosferatu is a truly poetic, beatiful film that all its successors can only hope to achieve. Max Schreck as Count Orlock might look silly in stills taken out of context from the film. But in the film itself, the vampire is weirdly creepy and otherworldly down to even its movements. It seems so strange to talk wheteher this creature is in any way sexual, but one must acknowledge that it has a certain fascination around it. Enough so that the heroine is willing to keep the vampire with her until the dawn breaks.

The Western 00's

The Best Westerns of the 2000s - The Magnificent 7th Part of our ongoing series.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (C)2007 Warner Bros.

Western is one of the most important genres in cinema, yet it was mostly sadly neglected in the Naughties. There were only a few film which clearly fit the genre bill, so I had to bend the limits a bit. I had to go through trouble to present you a top 10 list. Some of these films aren't even great, merely OK. But in addition to that, there are a couple of masterpieces that rank good among the whole decade.

3:10 To Yuma (2007)
Director: James Mangold

I like James Mangold as a director, yet he seems to go further into the basic Hollywood style with each film. There's not too many signs here of a personal style - anyone could've directed this and made it almost as good (unless it's someone like Michael Bay, who merely thinks he has a personal style).

Nevertheless, this remake is by no means a bad film, and I would hope Hollywood would make more of these westerns in a traditional style. This is, of course a remake of an old film, now starring Russell Crowe as a crook and Christian Bale as the farmer designated to bring him in front of the law. Of couse, his will for justice will be tested by threats to his family and his own life. Crowe isn't as bad a guy as I'd like him to be but that's usually the case when casting big movie stars as villains. An entertaining popcorn western.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)
Director: Andrew Dominik

A poetic character study about the curses of fame, fear and betrayal. These themes are fitting to read all sorts of things about the world today, too. The lust for glory in the 1880s that is more important than friendship, and the respect for one's whole life isn't that different from today, after all. The film takes time to tell the story but doesn't stretch anything in vain. Shots of nature and scenes of silence tell important tales constantly. Three hours fly by when pondering the multidimensional subtexts. One might complain about the anticlimatic ending, but I feel it's crucial to show how shitty the end can be for these wannabe-celebrities. I'd like to say they don't do them like this anymore, but apparrently they do.

Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Director: Ang Lee

My hatred for the movie Crash originally made me like this movie before I'd even seen it. It actually wasn't as good as I expected, yet it's still better than anything directed by Paul Haggis by miles. It's cool that modern Hollywood can finally produce such a crushing love story between members of the same sex, even though it took an asian director to nail the subject matter. It's a film about pining and unfulfilled love, just like all great romance films are. Like in Jesse James, the landscape also tells a big part of the story.

Dogville (2003)
Director: Lars von Trier

It's easy to forget that this is essentially a western, as all the things we usually recognize a western from have been stripped away. But this is a film that takes place in a small country town in the American midwest in the early 20th century. And the film is about America's two-faced bloodlust. Had there been more sets than just a chalklined floor it should be obvious to everyone.

In the beginning it seems the film would be quite like theatre without sets, and like a novel with it's structure divided in chapters. In fact it's a superb film that relies on many storytelling methods unique to films. The camera work among the chalk-lined floors is nothing short of breath-taking. Trier, if anyone, knows how to strip films down to their core essence. The film emphasizes its great performances, and even Nicole Kidman seems loveable and naive. Which is of course a fatal mistake.

No Country For Old Men (2007)
Directors: Joel & Ethan Coen

This is another multilayered portrayal of the decay of America. But even though the themes are familiar, the Coen brothers create a highly original piece of work. This isn't a straight western, as it takes place today, but the role of the landscape of the praries and fields of Texas are in such a big role here, it has to be seen as a postmodern western. There are no heroes in this work, just bad men and REALLY bad men. OK, Tommy Lee Jones is kind of good, but he's a really inept character, incapable to stop the carnage or to help stop the American degradation. No hero by all means. The film has a really cynical look about the irrationality of life. As they tend to do, the Coens also lace this pitch-black story full of equally black humour. And thus it was both the best comeback film in my memory, and one of the best Best Picture winners of the decade.

O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)
Directors: Joel & Ethan Coen

The Coens again, the best American western filmmakers living today. This one, however is right at the other end of the spectrum from NCFOM. The first part of their Idiot-trilogy starring George Clooney, is also the best and funniest of the three. The moronically grandiose idea of translating Homer's Odyssey into a tale of men on the lam in the prohibition-era midwest is so stupid it works like a charm.
Great music, memorable scenes, great casting, great and funny dialogue. What's not to love?
Damn, we're at a tight spot.

Open Range (2003)
Director: Kevin Costner

Kevin Costner made a film about how modern scumbags threaten to extinct the proper cowboys, herding cattle in the open praries. Today, it's almost too old-fashioned for it's own good, but at least offers a great shootout, which has been mostly absent from other westerns on this list.

The Proposition (2005)
Director: John Hillcoat

I like my westerns bloody and gritty, because I believe that’s how America came to be. Now, this one is violent like Peckinpah squared and gritty like Leone quadrupled. And it's not about America at all but depicts the old times down under. Australia has apparently been made with as much blood to paint the Ayers Rock. There are no good characters on this one either, just evil and eviler. And heads exploding, piles of corpses, lynchings and a drunk bounty hunter played by John Hurt. Great music by Nick Cave and scenery shots, too. It's an experience that you won’t easily forget.

There Will Be Blood (2007)
Director: Paul Thomas Anderson

An important movie for the whole 21st century. Whereas Citizen Kane spent all his life trying to be loved, Daniel Plainview pushes away everything that could bring him happiness, including his son (twice), would-be friends, and religion. All that's left is his driven greed, that made him work indominably in the beginning, even though he broke his legs. But he doesn't get a reward from this hard work, just fortunes and insanity. It's still not as if everyone else in here is virtuous. Daniel sees both good and bad people just as something he can take advantage from or potential threats.

The movie is somewhat of a metaphor in itself. It is not the first western to suggest that America is built on greed and blood, but one of the most effective ones at that in recent years. The film is gorgeously shot. One can spot the same locations that were seen in No Country for Old Men, including the tree under which the mexican drug dealer died.

The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (2005)
Director: Tommy Lee Jones

Yet another film about an old cowboy that realizes that his time is up. Director/star Tommy Lee Jones touched a lot on the thematics of the Coen brother's film two years before he himself starred in it. Here, Lee Jones tries to fulfill a promise to a friend and get him buried in Mexico. He has to step on law and resort to, among other crimes, kidnapping, to accomplish this extremely hard act of ultimate friendship.

Again, this is a film that is set in the modern day, but uses the themes, settings and landscapes found on all good westerns. A beatifully shot and edited film, and by all means a good direction from TLJ. He appears to be one of the actors that just gets how a good film should flow and be made. It is also a fitting paragraph to let Tommy Lee slowly ride onto the sunset on a mule to quit this list here.