Three laughs: Gamera vs. Guiron

 
It is hard to rate some trashy films. Films can be really good entertainment in spite of the quality of the filmmaking. In fact, it might be even harder to create unique trash that keeps surprising you than most "quality" films with which you know what you are going to get. It certainly is an even better pleasure to watch them. My friend says that he knows a trash film is worth something if it gets three laughs out of me. I mean proper, good belly laughs when you just can't believe what the film is showing to you, scene after scene. That's as good a rating as any for these movies. Any film that has these three laughs has a special place in my heart.  

★ or ★★★★★

Three laughs case file #39:
Gamera vs. Guiron (Gamera tai daiakuju Giron Japan, 1969)
Director: Noriyaki Yuasa

Compared to the more famous and glamorous Godzilla, Daei Studios' space turtle Gamera was an also-ran. Still, he has plenty of fans that swear on his name. The kaiju adventures were aimed more to smaller children, and thus Gamera also has a easily sung theme song and usually Earth children to protect from pesky aliens bent on conquering the world. 

The thing that makes Gamera movies so intriguing is that even though they clearly have budgetary restrictions and are basically kids' movies, they still up the ante on gore and brutality. Sure, Gamera bleeds green blood, but it still burtsts out of him when he faces the knife-headed fiend Guiron. The film was the fifth entry into the series.

Two small boys find a flying saucer and decide to take a trip in it. They are taken to a strange planet where an alien base is being protected by the nasty giant monster Guiron. Two sexy alien ladies reveal their plan is to get information from the kids' brains in order to take over the Earth. So, it's up to Gamera (established at this point to be a friend to children and a protector of our world) to defeat Guiron and save the children.

 

Three laughs (SPOILERS):

1. The amount of non-chalantness the main characters display here is something quite amazing by itself. Seeing a spaceship from a telescope? Wow! Finding the flying saucer out in the open? Wow! Taking off in to space? Wow! Seeing a giant turtle being propulsed by jet beams crushing asteroids from your way? Better sing the Gamera theme song. The creature effects are somehow super funny, all the monsters look to be either drunk or extremely hungover.

2. In order to establish the threat of Guiron, the filmmakers go to the obvious route: have it defeat a character that used to be a strong opponent for Gamera himself. In this case it's the pterodactyl-like Gyaos. Gyaos tries to shoot Guiron with a laser beam, but it reflects on his knife-head and shoots Gyaos's leg clean off. The fight ends with Guiron chopping Gyaos into neat purple slices.

3. The thing that's funny about the creature effects is how there are noticeable seams from guys in suit to animatronics to smaller-scale models. The final fight begins with Gamera lying unconscious on an ocean floor. What makes him wake up is a boulder dropping and hitting him in the jaw. The spinach to Popeye is getting hit to Gamera. As he rises he's also showing off his gymkata skills by spinning around and around a chinning bar. It doesn't do much good against Guiron, but at least it startles it for a bit, probably? In the end Guiron's limbs are blown off with a missile. JUSTICE FOR GYAOS!