Urban Gauntlets

One thing that gets lost amid all this quarantine is that major cities are seething hellholes. That's probably where I'm particularly drawn into the sort of neo noir films, where a hapless protagonist tries their best, but it seems the entire cities (usually NYC) are against them in every way. So, let's take a closer look at three of such examples.

 

Killing of a Chinese Bookie (USA, 1976)
Director: John Cassavetes

In the sweaty seventies, John Cassavetes was making his own minimalist art in between shoots of major big-budget Hollywood epics. He bled his own situation into his films, like here where an owner of a burlesque house (Ben Gazzara) strives to make art out of making middle-aged men horny.

He's also a gambling addict that gets into trouble with the local mob. The only way out is to do a favor, which in turn might suck out the last of humanity out of him. These kinds of films are basically tragedies about the failure of the American dream. The plucky underdogs dream of being big, but always have to face some harsh realities, and in the end, violence as well. Cassavetes didn't really like violence in films, so it's shot very discreetly, but the realities it causes changes the tone of the entire film. 

Unlike the two other films in this list, this one is set in Los Angeles. It can be seen in the greater emphasis on cars, distances, and heat eminating from the entire film. Cassavetes as a director usually had a very limited color palette to his films, this one also looks like the film was overexposed in the sun, even though it's mostly set during the night.

The film is mostly talk and no action. One shouldn't expect it to even have a climax of sort. Cassavetes is interested in the implications of the situation more than anything. The entire thing also works as a metaphor for the corruption of the power of money. How far are you willing to sell your soul?

★★★★

After Hours (USA, 1985)
Dir. Martin Scorsese

 

It used to be thought that the 1980's weren't really that good for the director Martin Scorsese. I beg to differ, I find he did some great work that riffed on ideas and themes he had set up in the previous decade. After Hours is one of his rare more comedic movies. But in fact, it's a thorough New York movie that sees the city, yuppified since the days of Taxi Driver, as dangerous as ever.

A hapless office worker (Griffin Dunne) is a regular young man but takes a few steps out of his comfort zone as he's looking for love. Out in the middle of the night in a weird part of the town alone and with no money seems to attract him to oddballs and authorities that don't mean him well and are out to get him. The neon-lit, cold and smoky New York never looked better but at the same time, more terrifying.

The film is emphatethic towards everyone who's down and out in the Big Apple, even if it casts most of the characters of the city with major mental issues and cynicism. But the key is that circumstantial setbacks can pile up and minor things like losing a $20 bill may cause a chain-reaction that only adds to the plight of the outcasts. It's a film that also gets to the heart of the loneliness felt in cities, even if there are plenty of people around. 

Scorsese has borrowed from Woody Allen a distrust of the city's intellectual and artistic class and mercilessly mocks it. He also manages to sneak in some of his personal obsessions, from late-night diners to talking about film classics to the mix as well, making this one of the movies surely influencing a young Quentin Tarantino. The only major problem with the movie is that it hits so close to truth it's not that funny as a comedy, but hey, you can't always have everything.

★★★★

Uncut Gems  (USA, 2019)
Dirs. Benny & Josh Safdie

The latest one, and the one that particularly inspired this writing comes from the arthouse cinema production house A24 and has Scorsese and Cassavetes in particular as influences. The seediness in the previous ones is now contrasted with more modern sports centers and auction houses. But even if it's not done in the open any more, the threat of violence looms even stronger behind every scene.

Lando Calrissian -styled gems dealer Howard Ratner (Adam Sandler) is at once a sleazy little rat, and a fast-talking trickster you can't help but to like even if his self-destructive adrenaline addiction is putting not only himself, but his his family and friends on harm's way. Ratner is about to make a huge sell on a particularly beautiful opal, which puts him in a position and mindset to make increasingly dangerous bets on sports. The movie follows as Ratner ups the ante again and again, always surviving by the skin of his neck, until finally the bets become way too big to handle.

For the fast-paced modern audiences, the movie is fast-cut and has plenty of side-plots going on at all times. The effect may be anxiety-inducing for some viewers, but the film also warrants repeat viewings if one is interested in seeing the strings of plotlines getting pulled. Given the chance, Sandler can be a great character actor, so it's a bit sad he didn't get the rcognition he deserved from this which will surely make him go back to making very half-assed comedies with no effort. But such are the joys and victories that the film presents, too. They are fleeting, and something much worse is yet to come soon enough.

 ★★★★ 1/2

Three laughs: Rocky IV

It is hard to rate some trashy films. Films can be really good entertainment in spite of the quality of the filmmaking. In fact, it might be even harder to create unique trash that keeps surprising you than most "quality" films with which you know what you are going to get. It certainly is an even better pleasure to watch them. My friend says that he knows a trash film is worth something if it gets three laughs out of me. I mean proper, good belly laughs when you just can't believe what the film is showing to you, scene after scene. That's as good a rating as any for these movies. Any film that has these three laughs has a special place in my heart.

★ or ★★★★★

 

Three laughs case file #38:
Rocky IV (USA, 1985)
Director: Sylvester Stallone

So, as many movie directors these days have too much time on their hands, many have started to recut some of their films they feel didn't really work in their first form. Francis Ford Coppola is working on Godfather III, Steven Soderbergh has probably already gone through half of his filmography, and Sylvester Stallone has Rocky IV.

But why Rocky IV? It's as close to perfection as anything Stallone has ever made, and Creed notwithstanding, my favorite of the never-ending Rocky series. It turns out Stallone has changed his mind about Paulie's robot and he explains he doesn't like it any more. So, it would seem Stallone would cut out some of the movie's bizarreness and make it just a so-so melodrama, which the Rocky saga already has in abundance.

Well, here at Last Movieblog we are undoubtedly pro-robot. Stallone may recut all he wants but we will always have the original version (Right? He's no George Lucas, right?), so let's have a look at some of the laughs offered by the Rocky Ivee.

 

Three laughs (SPOILERS):

1. Before the movie has even settled to be a metaphor for the fight against the US and the Soviet Union, we see Ol' Rock has become a wealthy man since his underdog days. He lives in a huge mansion with his family. In fact, he even buys his friend Paulie (Burt Young) an expensive birthday gift. But he doesn't get the sports car he wanted, he gets a weird, bug-eyed robot that's probably meant more for Rocky's young son. In fact, the reason the robot is in the movie is that it's a helper tool that Stallone's actual son used for his autism.

Nevertheless, there's a big laugh coming on when inexplicably Paulie has switched the robots controls later on, so it uses a chirpy female voice and serves him beer. Knowing the background makes it even doubly bizarre that Stallone implies Paulie would use his robot for sex.  

2. I always enjoy Dolph Lundgren and feel like, as an actor, he got served the short stick and could have given so much more in his heyday. The scene when he's raised to his fight with Apollo Creed is carried by his face of confusion when he sees a Las Vegas -style gaudy James Brown musical number with small airplanes in the roof, showgirls, acrobats, and some sort of giant golden calf statue. Is Stallone implying that Americans are worshipping a false god? The sneeding way Lundgren delivers his line "You will lose" to Creed who he's about to kill in the ring, is also nothing short of magnificent.

3. A usual critique of the movie is that it's half montages set to the cheesiest arena rock the 80's had to offer. My personal favorite is the one set to Robert Tappert's No Easy Way Out where Rocky is driving around with tears on his faces thinking about his friend Apollo and the homoerotic scenes in Rocky III when they were running on the beach and bear-huuging in the waves. There's some shots of Adrian and classic Rocky training montages thrown in for good measure, of course, since the film is no homo.

Three laughs: Robotrix

It is hard to rate some trashy films. Films can be really good entertainment in spite of the quality of the filmmaking. In fact, it might be even harder to create unique trash that keeps surprising you than most "quality" films with which you know what you are going to get. It certainly is an even better pleasure to watch them. My friend says that he knows a trash film is worth something if it gets three laughs out of me. I mean proper, good belly laughs when you just can't believe what the film is showing to you, scene after scene. That's as good a rating as any for these movies. Any film that has these three laughs has a special place in my heart.  

★ or ★★★★★

Three laughs case file #37:  
Robotrix (Nu ji xie ren, Hongkong, 1991)
Director: Jamie Luk

I've heard movie pitches a lot worse than "sexy RoboCop". During Hongkong's mad "CAT III" years, someone had the bright idea, not only to do a combined scifi actioner and softcore film, but to also have it basically be Terminator 2 as well, having two killer robots battle it out. The evil robot, played by Billy Chow, is REALLY EVIL, and during the course of the movie performs rather nasty sexual violence against sex workers. So, there's a Trigger Warning to go with the film, they really don't slow down as it gets started.

The film has a little tongue in cheek, as in the beginning we see a German robot that resembles a little of the ol' T-800, and an American robot that in turn has stereotypical mullet wig and if I needed to make a guess, seems to be a reference to Jean-Claude Van Damme's Cyborg. Mammary-heavy Amy Yip plays the android body into which a dead policewoman's brain is inserted into. There's little nudity, though, even though for the first time in Hongkong cinema, Chow also reveals his member in a quick scene.

A lot of the film plays up the comedy rather than the serial-killing robot hunting. Not all of it is intentional, bad dubbing, bizarre dialogue and hammy acting carries a lot of the fun. Yip's cyborg is put on an undercover mission disguised as a sex worker, and caused by this, starts a really successful police-run brothel business, that also her co-workers in blue seem to enjoy using. Chikako Ayoma plays Yip's rival policewoman that comes to rely on her as a partner before the film's bloody climax.

Three laughs (SPOILERS):

1. The film's flimsy plot consists of several elements that don't quite click together. We are introduced to the villain of the film when he uses sleeping gas to knock out everyone in a bath house and to kidnap the daughter of an Arab prince to... ransom her for money? This idea doesn't really play out in the following scenes. But at this point Yip is still playing a flesh-and-blood policewoman. It is proven she is no match for the precision of a cyborg as she is immediately shot in the chest by the villain. She'll get better.

 2. The bad android's sex drive is so huge, he goes to bars picking on small-time gangsters' girlfriends. This enrages the Triad guys and they take the fight... to the toilet? As the android refuses to pay to use her, he is attacked, but the robot just punches the gangster so hard to the stomach, it implodes. The Itchy & Scratchy -level cartoonish violence that reminds of films like Riki-Oh is one of the best reasons to watch these CAT III films. There's also a memorable scene with a drill in this one.

3. Of the police group's characters, the most annoying one is the bearded sex-hungry virgin guy, who also tried to get a free round with sex worker Robotrix by disguising himself. In the lead up to the climax, he is unceremoniously cut in half with a car. The characters in the film are very sad to see him die, the audiences back home may have an entirely different reaction to seeing the sleazebag go.

Night Visions: The New Ab-normal

 
Things are different this year around, which meant for the regular spring edition of Night Visions film festival getting cancelled. But at least here in Finland things got a little better, so there was an opportunity to have a festival in August. Things are changing also in the way I'm writing a festival report after a long while.

Butt Boy (USA, 2019)
Director: Tyler Cormack

 
This is a movie about an obsession, addiction and the willingness to wreck lives to achieve it. It's also a serial-killer movie about a dude, who (SPOILER) sucks people and objects inside his cavernous butthole. As far as crazy premises go, this one takes itself as seriously as it physically can.

As a whole, this film moves quite slowly. It has some perks, like watching the slowly ravelling cat-and-mouse game between Tyler Cornack's perp and Tyler Rice's cop on the edge. When the actual reveal comes, it changes the film's dynamic entirely, making the last quarter or so a real blast of butt-jokes. It is not quite as crazy as I had hope it would be, but I got some good chuckles and the melancholic feel of the movie really got to me.

★★★

Luz: The Flower of Evil (Columbia, 2019)
Dir. Juan Diego Escobar Alzate

This latest word in folk horror sees a reclusive cult live off the land. The cult leader El Señor (Conrado Osorio) keeps multiple wives and declares his youngest child to be the next Messiah. The other children, three daughters, find an object of the outside world and have different reactions, from wanting to escape to undying loyalty and laboring hard for the cult. The film doesn't really manage to give a good athmosphere or raise the stakes as one would wish from a horror film. Visually, it's clearly a fan product of the works of Alejandro Jodorowsky. But the actors are quite good in their roles, and one manages to sit through the film woith relative ease, even if it doesn't ever really deliver as good as one would want.

★★ 1/2

Tezuka's Barbara (Japan, 2019)
Dir. Macoto Tezuka

 
The pinku film seems to follow pretty clearly the godfather of manga Osamu Tezuka's comics. It is a story of a regular guy becoming increasingly obsessed by a homeless girl he meets on the streets of Tokyo. Like most pinkus I've seen, this one is quite slow with very few and not very graphic sex scenes. The ideas and obsessions around sex are more important than the act itself. There are a few scenes of note here that remind of Tezuka's odd sense of humour and richness of his imagination. But as a whole, the film is quite stilted, not utilizing what film can bring to the table as opposed to manga. So, this one felt quite dull in the end.

★★

Klovn The Final (Denmark, 2020)
Dir. Mikkel Norgaard

 
After the bit disappointing Klovn Forever, it's fun to see the third part in a trilogy somewhat return to its roots. At this point, Frank Hvam and Casper Christensen's rowdy comedies know what audiences are expecting, and both tease them with it but in the end, also deliver. It's not quite as graphic as the two previous ones, but altogether it might be ruder. It's crazy funny, at least.

The movie opened in Denmark just before the Corona crisis, so it's weird to see it tackle self-isolation for a length of its time. However, since an embarrassing mishap has cost them their trip in Iceland, Frank and Casper have to hide out in a vacant house next door to Frank's family. One small lie leads to bigger and bigger ones, and the strain to Frank's marriage in particular is stretched to a breaking point. Casper works as a ruthless id, caring little about anything else besides getting laid and getting the two into bigger and bigger troubles.

Not all of the film's gags quite land, and they are eager to set up some scenes that they oddly drop off at the blink of an eye. But when a good joke is laid out, waiting and then suddenly given an unexpected punchline, one can't help but to fall over laughing. I laughed, I cried, I hurled.

★★★★

Rabid (Canada, 2019)
Dir. The Soska Sisters

 
Even if 1977's Rabid isn't the most popular film in David Cronenberg's filmography, it is still risky to even attempt to redo one of the corner stones of the body horror movement. The Soska Sisters realize this, and while the end result is definitely going to split viewers, I do think they managed to update the ideas to a modern setting quite well. Maybe this should be a Re:Make blog post later on?

The new version downplays sexuality and the inner shame caused by it, as seen in regular horror movie tropes. The idea this time around is more like a feminist satire showing a woman being punished by outside forces for showing initiative in general. Timid fashion designer Rose (Laura Vanderwoort) isn't getting the recognition she deserves until she has an accident and an experimental skin operation to fix it. Too bad it also makes her a Patient Zero in a vampiric disease that starts to wreack havock.

 

It's kind of a wonder how ahead the curve the Soskas were last year. The vampire disease and the reactions of it, ranging from trying to shrug it off and continuing as if nothing is happening to outright maliciousness of trying to benefit from people dying, seems like satire from the reactions to COVID-19. There's even a barb at the police violence against poor people that have the disease. The Soskas make plenty of changes to the original, with a lot of emphasis on a sisterly relationship, and a thoroughly bonkers final reveal to match. All the bitterness surrounding the depiction fashion industry don't quite work, but the film bursts with ideas enough that one can give or take a few clunkers as something entirely else is just around the corner.

★★★★

The Gangster, The Cop, The Devil (Akinjeon, South Korea, 2019)
Dir. Lee Won-tae

 
Supposedly this south korean crime actioner is based on actual events of a mob boss testifying in court against a serial killer. It does deliver some grisly violence, surprising twists and well-rounded characters. The actors are wonderful, especially Ma Dong-seok as the burly kingpin who has to revalue his pendant for violence and need for revenge as an even more ruthless murderer (Kim Sung-kyu) tries to kill him. There are only shades of grey here, as the cop (Kim Mu-yeol) himself is a corrupt gambler and a drunk, happily spending his spare time in mob-owned casinos. The film is well-done entertainment, but has a bit of an abrupt ending, like you would expect from a TV series, and it doesn't really feel to have a central idea strong enough to really elevate it into a classic. 

★★★

Dolls (USA/Italy 1987)
Dir. Stuart Gordon

 

Night Visions also paid tribute to the late horror master Stuart Gordon with a screening of his classic horror-comedy. Dolls may not be quite among the very best of Gordon's filmography, but as is usual for the director's oveure, it is better than you would think. And it's generally thought to be the best of producer Charles Band's various killer toy movies that also include the Demonic Toys and Puppet Master franchises.

For the hardcore horror buff, the film might be a bit childish, though. It's central character is a little girl (Carrie Lorraine) and all the adult characters are overplayed caricatures, like you would find in a Roald Dahl book. They also meet similar grisly ends in a magic mansion filled with creepy dolls, or getting turned into dolls themselves. There are a couple of rowdy punk girls, evil yuppie stepparents, a weird elderly couple, and a plump but well-meaning dweeb (Stephen Lee). 

While the plot isn't anything terribly extraordinary, nor scary, the film is kept reasonably short and gives a few good one-liners to chuckle now and again. The puppet effects are kind of crude, but kept in a way that makes them mysterious enough. That was some of the magic of Gordon's filmmaking, he always knew how to stretch his budgets to suit the storytelling he aimed for.

★★★

DePalma x Hitchcock

 
Director Brian DePalma just turned 80 years old (yesterday, but I'm having trouble keeping schedules), so it's a good opportunity to take a look at three of his movies. Throughout his career, DePalma has been criticized for outright stealing scenes, set ups and camera angles from well-known directors, mainly Alfred Hitchcock. As a sort of postmodernist, both winking at people familiar with films and developing them into something new altogether, DePalma is a clear forerunner for filmmakers such as Quentin Tarantino or Ben Wheatley. So in this post, I have three thriller films of DePalma's that really go all in in swiping stuff from Ol' Hitch, and see whether the steal made for a better movie or whether it's just a lukewarm version of stuff better made before.

Obsession (1976)

Pilfers from: Vertigo (1958)

While Sisters (1972) was DePalma's calling card for the world of the thrillers, this was a certain turning point in his career. For one, he managed to snatch Hitchcock's frequent collaborator, composer Bernard Herrmann to do the music. For the other, he got ire from Hitch himself, who considered the film to be a remake of his own Vertigo. Both movies are stories of an obsessed man (played by Cliff Robertson here) losing his beloved, but later finding a doppelganger who he remakes in her image. But in both cases, the "new" woman has a secret and some knowledge of the past that comes to cost the protagonist.

The original script was done by Paul Schrader, who is an expert in having troubled characters with an inner life in total turmoil. It was extensively rewritten by DePalma to better touch upon what he wanted from the film. Schrader had different ideas for the entire ending, which probably would have been considerably different from Vertigo. It would have been interesting to see another time-hop, since the 16-year skip in the beginning takes us quite by surprise.

Robertson is perhaps not the most charismatic leading man, he does sell the inner anguish, but is like a cold fish in romantic scenes. DePalma has later said he didn't really buy his performance here, also perhaps due to the actor being difficult to work with. John Lithgow as his best friend and business partner steals a lot of the intrigue, and if you're familiar with some of DePalma's later efforts, you'll know what kind of a role he's playing here as well.

The film goes into a lot more taboo subjects Hitch couldn't, including incest. They both don't really care on whether the central criminal plot makes little sense, but Hitchcock as a more mature filmmaker can better drive the focus of the film to be solely of the central character's, well obsession. Both movies are interested in trauma being played out, surfacing as PTSD in sudden bouts of madness. But the film is also perhaps too slow for its own good. Vertigo packs a huge story in a very compact running time, but here one keeps hoping the film would roll along, having mainly an interesting ending. It also seems like the ideas of the pain of lost love being mirrored in art or restauration thereof, was approached with more sophistication by Hitchcock.

DePalma also takes cues from Dial M for Murder, Rope and Marnie.

★★★

Dressed to Kill (1980)

Lifts from: Psycho (1960)

This one starts and ends with a threatening shower scene. Also one of the key scenes of this film is a heavy reference of the seduction scene from Vertigo; both of the take place in an art museum, and use very little dialogue. DePalma can and will use a lot more explicit sex scenes. Classic Hollywood star Angie Dickinson is surprisingly game, even though in nude scenes she used a body double.

The most notable steal from Hitchcock's sole horror movie comes from the structire. Both films kill off the main female character midway through, and from thereon follow her sister trying to solve her murder, played here by Karen Allen. The film also uses other similar stock characters, such as a young man hung up on his mother, a sleazy private detective and a psychiatrist trying to find the reason on theories of sexual repression (played by Michael Caine). But DePalma also enjoys a bit of misdirection, having some familiar seeming roles be entirely red herrings. 

DePalma can easily be criticized for misogynist attitudes in films, and in here too, an adulterer woman gets her comeuppance very bloodily. It's a bit of a SPOILER, but the trans community has also heavily criticized the film's portrayal of transsexual tendencies and, having the early 60's Psycho-like idea of having them act as serial killers. There really isn't anything positive the film will say about any sexuality out of your basic monogamous cis-sexuality, but at least Allen's character is a sex worker who also works as an active protagonist.

The film also has a point in pointing how Hitchcock's voyeristic tendencies are obsessive, damaging and toxic, taking their ideas to their logical counterpoint. But it also revels in these very same tendencies. DePalma also plays on his own experiences, since the infidelity that starts out the film was something that was happening in his own family as well. The film has great camerawork and a beautiful soundtrack that makes murder of women highly aestethicized and thus making the audience complicit of the filmmaker's perversions. Also the film's ending is frustratingly bad, having odd conclusions and a dumb jump scare straight out of Carrie.

★★ 1/2

Body Double (1984)

Purloins from: Rear Window (1954)

The idea of duality of an identity or dual personas is very central in DePalma's filmography which probably explains why he's so obsessed with Vertigo in particular. This one dives also deep into ideas of voyerism, prevalent also in Hitch's Rear Window and Dial M for Murder. It makes Hitch's distrust of authorities also an aspect of shame and self-hatred following from obsessive and sexual thoughts.

The film has a cold open on a B-grade horror movie which reminds of Blow Out. The main character (played by Craig Wasson) here is an actor struggling with mental illnesses such as claustrophobia. He wanders off the set and notices a woman who does erotic dances in her apartement every night. Looking at her through telescope, he becomes somewhat obsessed, but also starts to suspect her life may be in danger, giving him an excuse to stalk her in the streets. But even as he witnesses more and more evidence of brutal crimes being committed, he is not believed by the authorities because they see him just a pervert.

At the time, DePalma was seen having gone too far with his use of sex and violence in his films. It's easy to see DePalma just following on with what the Italians were doing a little prior (even if he himself strongly denies it), yet his success opened doors for plenty of Hollywood Erotic thrillers in the late 80's and 90's (most of which were a lot more moralizing). Also DePalma was very much on top of the neo noir movement, making sleek, beautiful pictures to go with gritty stories he was telling. The film even incorporates a Frankie Goes to Hollywood music video in the middle of itself. It's all highly entertaining.

One can see how DePalma is working to solve some mysteries of film entertainment and its use in the world himself. With this and Blow Out a craftsman working in the film industry finds a "true life" plot which affects his way of working. Which is of course just as outlandish and over the top as anything else in Tinseltown. Is real world violence catching up, and does it have a symbiotic relationship with thriller films as well? Do they feed each other? In this case, the lines between movie and reality really fall apart in the 4th wall-breaking finale. Was all the suspense and thrills for nothing? Is the film completed?

When he worked these ideas into his Hitchcock thriller, I think his constant steals also started to actually work for the film's own benefit.

★★★ 1/2

Three Laughs: Showgirls

It is hard to rate some trashy films. Films can be really good entertainment in spite of the quality of the filmmaking. In fact, it might be even harder to create unique trash that keeps surprising you than most "quality" films with which you know what you are going to get. It certainly is an even better pleasure to watch them. My friend says that he knows a trash film is worth something if it gets three laughs out of me. I mean proper, good belly laughs when you just can't believe what the film is showing to you, scene after scene. That's as good a rating as any for these movies. Any film that has these three laughs has a special place in my heart.

Three laughs case file #36
Showgirls (USA, 1995)
Dir. Paul Verhoeven 

Now, Showgirls is a cult film in the proper use of the term. It has a devoted league of fans that know the movie by heart and recite its lines. But even they can't really come to an understanding on whether the film is actually any good or if it's funny just because it's bad. There's even a new documentary called You Don't Nomi (2019, dir. Jeffrey McHale) that makes arguments for either case.

I am more than willing to give director Paul Verhoeven the benefit of a doubt. After all, the crazy Dutchman has always provoked and in the meantime made some of my favorite movies of all time. But one has to also know that he's a bit of a perv, and even if he's doing a scathing movie of the treatment of young women in the entertainment industry, one can be sure he makes it gaudy, ridiculous and more than a bit male-gazey. Screenwriter Joe Eszterhas gets even less of a benefit of a doubt.

But the thing that makes Showgirls an entertaining movie is that it refuses to belong to any one box. It is more than happy to keep switching its tone, taking different aspects and running with them, and refusing to give easy answers. It's dumb, it's weird, and the acting in particular is all over the place. It is not an entirely successful movie, that much has to be said. I think one gets quite weary of it during the lengthy run time. But there's certainly the required laughs to be had in following Nomi's (Elizabeth Berkley) career from a stripper to showgirl to a genuine star.

★ or ★★★★★

Three laughs (SPOILERS):

1. Some people in McHale's document claim to realize the film is very bad from the first scene onward. I feel like it's a bit heightened, but a true reveal on how the film is going to be is after Nomi arrives to Las Vegas and loses all of her belongings to a thief pretending to be a Samaritan. A kind soul (Gina Ravera) offers to help her, but also makes the mistake of asking her where she comes from. Nomi, just trying to eat a basket of fries, doesn't have any of it, throws the fries away and gives a wonderful delivery of the line "DIFFERENT PLACES!"

2. I think the film's funnest scenes include the super-bitch star Cristal Connors (Gina Gershon), and the All About Eve -style one-upping between her and Nomi. The film's funniest scene comes from the bonding at a restaurant they seem to have between eating dog food, and loving a perticular brand, Doggy Chow. To add up to the scene's oddness, they also toast chips when finding common ground.

3. I just have to include the bizarre sex scene between Nomi and the sleazy rich boy Zack Carey played by Kyle McLachlan. They head out to a neon-lit pool for a bit of the old in-n-out, which Nomi performs similarly as her striptease, mainly throwing her legs around Carey and flopping on her back like a fish on heat in dry land. It's wet, it's wild, but it ain't erotic, I tell you that much.

Three laughs: The Last American Virgin

 

It is hard to rate some trashy films. Films can be really good entertainment in spite of the quality of the filmmaking. In fact, it might be even harder to create unique trash that keeps surprising you than most "quality" films with which you know what you are going to get. It certainly is an even better pleasure to watch them. My friend says that he knows a trash film is worth something if it gets three laughs out of me. I mean proper, good belly laughs when you just can't believe what the film is showing to you, scene after scene. That's as good a rating as any for these movies. Any film that has these three laughs has a special place in my heart.  

★ or ★★★★★

 

Three laughs case file #35:  
The Last American Virgin (USA, 1982)
Director: Boaz Davidson

It's time to go back to school! I'm not usually big into teen movies, but there's an exception to this rule, a kind of ultimate how-I-spent-my-summer-vacation movie. As it turns out, it's also a straight remake of an Israeli American Graffiti ripoff, Lemon Popsicle. A lot of the modernization of Cannon Group's The Last American Virgin tries way too hard to capture the hearts of 80's teenagers, which makes it so preposterous and funny.

In particular, the movie's soundtrack is full of the cheesiest early 80's ballads you could imagine. The melodrama may suit the teenager mindset when every little crush is a matter of life and death, but it seems quite silly when half the movie is dumb dick jokes. Also the sad sack main character Gary (Lawrence Monoson) looks about to cry at any given moment. 

The film quests Gary and his two meatheaded friends during one summer in a quest to get laid. They find plenty of opportunities, but insecurities keep Gary from gatting any. That, and a love for the new girl in the neighborhood, Karen (Diane Franklin). But sadly, there's a triangle drama as Rick (Steve Antin) picks her up and starts developing a relationship. One of the reasons I find this better than most teeny fare is the more realistic feelings of lovelorniness and unfairness throughout. I'm a cynic, but it feels more comfortable than fairy tales. The end scene in particular is a real coup de grace.

 

Three laughs (SPOILERS):

1. As Devo's Whip It plays on the background, first we have a nerd peeping into the girl's dressing room, and as he's caught in the act, it devolves into a scene with the entire gym class measuring and comparing their ding-dongs.

2. In a particularly unrealistic scene straight outta the letters column of Penthouse, the boys are seduced by a sexy Spanish woman, alone at home with her boyfriend being a sailor. The boys take turns in entertaining her in the bedroom. As the tubby Victor (Bryan Peck) get's a go, the other boys peep from the keyhole. KC and the Sunshine Band's That's the Way (I like it) plays as Victor thrusts.

3. In what is undoubtedly the best use of U2 in anything ever, I Will Follow plays on the background as Gary has to work his ass off in order to pay for Karen's abortion. It is intercut with the procedure. Yes, this movie has a U2 Abortion Montage.